


Spoofy And The Science Team

by fishandcchips



Category: Half-Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Gen, Vocaloid - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:42:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24911035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fishandcchips/pseuds/fishandcchips
Summary: Gordon wants to play music while he's working but, as per usual, nothing wants to work his way.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 37





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Taking a small break from Turnabout Tupperware and another AA fanfic I've been working on to produce this! My friend bullied me into watching this show and it was pretty funny, ngl. Hi, Benrey if you're reading this.
> 
> Forget about the logistics and time stuff, just let this happen.

The doors to the testing chamber opened with a hiss, smoke dramatically seeped through the opening as Gordon walked into the chamber, clenching his fists tightly. As his sibilant breaths echoed through the room, he couldn’t help notice that something felt like it was missing. Something along those lines, it felt pretty boring just to be walking through the room.

It wasn’t until he reached the ladder that he realised what. “Uh– Hey! Doctor Coomer!” He yelled as he climbed the ladder up to the platform.

“Hello, Gordon!” The doctor greeted cheerfully. Gordon had to admit, it felt kind of nice to be greeted like that every day, made him feel warm inside.

“Yeah, uh–” Gordon grunted as he began ascending the ladder. “Can you play the– um– the playlist under my name on the Spotify account?” Coomer seemed confused because a pitched hum sounded from the microphone. “T–The Black Mesa Spotify account! It should be there!”

“Oh, _whaaat_? No way, Black Mesa has a _Spotify account?”_ A familiar, fairly bored voice finally sounded.

“No, _no!”_ Gordon quickly snapped. He jumped off the ladder to the metal platform, walking towards the panel. “Fuck you! Guys, don’t let Benrey on the fuckin’ computer!”

“Too late, Feetman.” Benrey said slyly. “You’re going to hear my sick jams.”

Gordon tried focusing on what buttons he was pressing but for some reason, this trivial issue began to get on his nerves. “What if– He’s probably going to play porn or fuckin’ whatever! No fuckin’ way!”

“Who are you?” Dr Coomer asked. “You don’t have clearance to be here!”

Gordon felt mad as he began activating the beam. “He’s not supposed to be here! Get him out of there!”

“Naw, I have an ID, it’s cool.” There was a tinge of a chuckle on Benrey’s tongue, it made Gordon want to strangle him.

“Oh, ok!” Dr Coomer replied carelessly.

“What?!” Gordon yelled as the beam activated. The beam wasn’t in his interest anymore though. “You guys are fucking kidding me!”

“Now, now, Gordon,” Dr Coomer said much like a dad trying to settle an argument between his children. “You have to learn how to share the Black Mesa Spoofy!” 

Gordon laughed. “It– It’s _Spotify_ , Dr Coomer!”

“That’s what he said!” Bubby interrupted. “Get on with it!”

“Alright, fine, geez!” Gordon replied before climbing down the ladder. “Can’t even have my own music playing while I fuckin’ work.” He muttered under his breath.

Only ten seconds had passed before a string of sharp guitar notes shot through Gordon’s ears. He screamed in shock and almost fell down the ladder.

“What the fuck, Benrey?!” Gordon shouted.

The microphone clicked. “What?”

“ _That scared the shit out of–_ Wait. What the fuck.” Gordon processed the song as he jumped off the ladder. “Holy shit, is this _Vocaloid?”_

“You motherfucker, it’s _Lost One’s Weeping by Neru sung by Kagamine Rin.”_ Benrey deadpanned. “You’d know that if you had your passport.”

 **_“Fffuck you!”_ ** Gordon yelled back. “Stop bringing up my passport, fuckin’ anime boy!”

“Gordon,” Dr Coomer said much like a disappointed mother. “You shouldn’t make fun of Benrey’s interests like that.”

“Yeah, fuckin’ nerd.” Benrey followed with.

“He just called me a nerd!” Gordon shouted back as he made his way to the test sample, louder over the anime boy singing.

“Well, he’s right!” Bubby sounded.

“You are literally a scientist, Bubby!”

“So what?!”

Gordon groaned, forcing himself to move faster towards the test sample.

“Slower... than molasses... drips... off a spoon!” Tommy finally stated. Gordon imagined him sitting nervously at the back of the room until that point.

“Yeah, yeah, I know…” Gordon sighed, finally laying his hands onto the subject.

Not even a second into pushing the sample, not even a centimetre in, and over the music, Gordon had sure enough heard a faint but very distinct, “Kokuban no kono kanji ga yomemasu ka.” Gordon froze as it continued with, “Ano ko no shinshou wa yomemasu ka.”

 _“Ho–ly shit.”_ He whispered. “Benrey.” He said, on the verge of laughter. “Did you memorize the entirety of this song? _In Japanese?”_

“Fuck yea, dude, you got a problem with that, Feetman?”

“Fuck you! You can’t insult me while singing along to a sad fake anime boy!” Gordon laughed, leaning against the test sample.

He heard a rustling. “Get on with it!” Bubby commanded.

“Okay, okay! J–Jesus Christ!” Gordon wheezed.


	2. Computer Wife

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gordon wants to listen to music! Let him listen to music!

Gordon finished the test finally. Listening to Benrey’s Vocaloid tunes made the whole situation more frustrating, he was just glad to be out of the test chamber. He sighed as he trudged to the changing room. As he made it way through the twisting and turning hallways, the scientists and other HEV suit wearers dwindled in number.

Eventually, it was only Gordon. His footsteps loudly echoed through the corridor before he finally made it to the locker room. He went over to his locker and spotted his small Bluetooth speaker, it was grey and no bigger than 20 centimetres. He glanced around the room, it was empty. Gordon swiftly took out the speaker and connected it to his phone, a little ding emitting from the Bluetooth device. He opened up his music app and sent it on shuffle.

The sounds of a low synth echoed quietly through the room, followed by some robotic voices. Gordon sighed, this was all he wanted for the test.

 _“My computer wife likes the nightlife. Every night, tonight.”_ The robotic voice sung, it was very obviously vocoded, but it sounded nice like that Gordon reckoned.

 _“Dancing out on the dance floor,”_ Gordon mumbled, shutting his locker. _“That's what I programmed her for, every night, tonight.”_

Gordon was quick to try to get his suit off. He walked over to the three luminescent tubes in beat to the tune. He stood in one of the tubes, tapping his foot as he patiently waited. It loosened the suit so he could finally shrug the whole thing off his body. 

The HEV suit was heavy and constricting, Gordon always felt freer with it off. Underneath he wore a clean, white shirt and baggy grey pants, he actually knew people that wore the suit while only wearing underpants underneath, that just felt weird to Gordon. 

He shook his limbs when out of the suit, his body always felt stiff and clunky after wearing it so it was always good to try to warm up his body. He danced to the beat of the song, the tube opening up just in time for the drum solo. Gordon slid out and pretended to hit the drums as he hopped to the locker room, still in time with the music.

He laughed as the song moved into the guitar solo, Gordon’s fingers moved like lighting against the imaginary fretboard of his air guitar. He spun around and dramatically posed on one knee, his right arm raised in the air as he finished his air-guitar solo. _“My computer wife likes the nightlife, every night, tonight!”_ Gordon damn-near scream sung, clapping in time with the beat. _“Dancing out on the dance floor. That's what I programmed her for, every night, tonight.”_

Then Gordon jumped up with gusto and this time pretended to play bass. He stuck his tongue out as he swung his head back and forth, feeling his hair flop everywhere. He jumped up onto the wooden seats in the middle of the room and danced across them, probably almost breaking them. Finally, he ended the song by sliding across the floor on his knees, his arm raised in the air, his pinkie and index sticking out.

He felt a tap on his shoulder. “Yo, what the f–”

 **“AGH!”** Gordon shrieked, jolting up then collapsing on the cold tile floor. As he heavily inhaled he looked up to see a certain security guard. “Benrey..!” He breathed. “Why would you fucking do that?!”

“Whuh? What do you mean?” Benrey asked, dumbly.

“Why the fuck did you scare me?!”

Benrey tilted his head. “What are you talking about?”

“Wh– Mhhg…” Gordon shook his head as his speaker continued to blast music. Panicking, he slid and tripped over to the small device. Gordon tried to mute it but he was impatient and ended up curling the device around his arm, the speaker still playing music quietly. He cleared his throat then looked up at Benrey, who stood still. “...How much of that did you see?”

“Eh, up to the guitar solo,” Benrey replied.

Gordon slumped over and flushed. “J-Jesus,” He blurted out. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

Benrey shrugged. “That song was really dorky, I didn’t want to embarrass you.”

“Embarrass–?!” Gordon pursed his lips before letting out a loud, _“What do you mean– Embarrass me?! You’re the one who played Vocaloid_ ** _out loud_** **_during the test!”_**

“Yeah but you’re listening to a techno-whatever band that’s singing about computer wives.” Benrey chuckled. “Kinda sad.”

“I’m– What?!”

“You’re a lil’ nerd, Feetman, we all know it.” Benrey poked Gordon’s forehead playfully. “Don’t worry about it.”

Gordon furrowed his eyebrows, he groaned. “I can’t believe _I’m_ being called a nerd.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was too lazy to read and check this so it probably has about 5000 spelling and grammar errors but ITS FINE! I SWEAR!! ITS ALL GOOD!!
> 
> Gordon's listening to Computer Wife by TWRP because, as I said last chapter, I highly believe Gordon would listen to early TWRP.
> 
> anyway uhh find me on tumblr and twitter as @cchippytime!

**Author's Note:**

> For those who are curious, Gordon would've played LazerHorse by TWRP. I feel like he'd enjoy early TWRP songs a lot. Even though all their pre-The Device songs aren't even on Spotify. Again, forget about the logistics.
> 
> Tommy strikes me as a guy who likes Out Of Touch. You know the one I'm talking about.
> 
> I'm not sure about Bubby or Coomer? At some point, I was thinking Machine Girl for Bubby but ehhh not too sure.
> 
> anyway uhh find me on tumblr and twitter as @cchippytime!


End file.
